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I am a trained presenter of information. I DO NOT provide research. I present material from the research community on young adults.
I am an:
*Author *Pastoral Counselor *Adjunct Faculty Member, Cuyahoga Community College, *Guest Speaker, Wright State University, MBA studies * Keynote Speaker, University of Dayton, Professional Selling studies *American Academy of Ophthalmology Continuing Education speaker *Ohio Optometric Association continuing education speaker *Ohio Opticians Association continuing education speaker *Negotiated, and gained, Venture Capital for my software startup company *Provided growth (both corporately and with company personnel) and stability to small and medium size companies as an Outsourced Management Coach *Ice Hockey Referee - 26 years.
One of the most wonderful skill sets I have gained is providing Pastoral Counseling. Working with clients who range from anxiety and depression to marital problems is the most rewarding venture I have ever had. Watching these clients find relief and exit from their troubles is beyond descriptive words.
An interesting facet of helping people is learning, and then recognizing, issues in their subconscious that are affecting their current thoughts and behavior. These thoughts and behaviors are often a result of varying parenting styles. It led me to revisit my parenting. I can see firsthand how my father’s temper led me to have, and display, my temper. That led to my son doing the same thing, and thankfully he recognized something was wrong and is going through counseling to permanently stop this generational problem.
As I prepare to give a continuing education lecture to fellow pastoral counselors on how we often discover the effects of childhood development being played out in adulthood, I began to see the opportunity to have a generational improvement for today’s young parents. That led to 6 years of research on what current colleges and employers are finding in today’s young adults.
It’s important to know that I AM NOT interested in profiting from the massive education industry. My single focus is on helping the next generation to be more prepared for adulthood. A Non-Profit organization dedicated to helping our next generation.
I have witnessed the changing landscape of parents. I have observed the beginning of the label “helicopter parent”. Thankfully, my wife and I did not fit into this newly minted parenting style. I was busy, in what I later learned, being a somewhat serial entrepreneur. Divorce soon followed. I believe two working parents paved the way for neither parent having the time to be a helicopter parent. That did not stop either of us from watching the phenomenon in the families our children were in school with.
I have watched from the sidelines as the Gen X parents moved past helicopter parenting into “Snowplow” parenting. This parenting style focused on helping their child avoid difficulties. Just like a snowplow that removes snow to create a clear path, a snowplow parent removes all obstacles their child may encounter so they have a clear path forward. Clearly this has left children who don’t know how to deal with obstacles without their parents.
The parenting style I am seeing today is very permissive. Generation Health, a British Columbia organization, has titled them “Jellyfish” parents. This parenting style places few rules or demands on kids and parents seldom follow through on consequences when children do not follow the rules. Generation Health reports this approach often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation.
Having lived through these different styles of parenting, when my church started a program to help deal with suicidal tendencies, anxiety, alcohol, and drug abuse in high school students I was interested. I was worried though that we were only dealing with the results of parenting choices. I wanted to see what research was available to guide us to helping parents AVOID the traps that decades of parenting choices have led to.
I left a comfortable job at my parents’ company to venture out on my own at the age of 26. I spent the next 12 years as a manufacturer’s representative. My success in communicating and problem-solving led me to launching a consultive style of selling. A major component to my success was listening skills”. I quickly became a valued member of my key accounts strategic planning. Years later, I authored a book titled “Where Price Never Matters”, because of my success as a consultive salesperson. And learning how to "LISTENING" is a major part of our series.
I've been fortunate to learn strategic planning, negotiating, public speaking and how to work with different personalities (DiSK personality training). Having previously served as an Adjunct Faculty Member, and on the Board of Advisors, for Cuyahoga Community College, along with my experience in manufacturing eyeglasses led to continuing education lecturing for opticians and ophthalmology. Speaking to audiences from 50 to 800 rounded out my ability to communicate. I later utilized those talents as an instructor to ice hockey referees and then as an instructor of instructors, but that’s a story for another time. I will say though, 26 years as a hockey referee required every communication skill I had learned.
As I mentioned earlier, I am kind of a serial entrepreneur. I have successfully gained venture capital for one of the companies I launched. Although this ended in failure, the lessons gained from securing venture capital (which I advise nobody to go through) and launching a company was before it’s time, allows me the present critical thinking of how to approach a solution that may be in its infancy.
From my experience as a Pastor Counselor, I know we can influence how children will behave as an adult. Likewise, it is easy to recognize how generations starting with Baby Boomers through today’s Jellyfish parents have intentionally tried to make life better for their children and unintentionally made things worse. I believe you will agree that preparing tomorrow’s adults will start with today’s children. When presented with the skills to better prepare their children for adulthood, I believe most parents will agree.
I have all the ingredients necessary to communicate the results of multiple authors’ research into a clearly defined strategy. As Melvin J Brown, Ed. D, Superintendent at Montgomery Public Schools, recently wrote on LinkedIn, “There are those who think change should be immediate and results come overnight. They are wrong. Real, transformative changes takes time, effort, strategy, and discomfort. It requires us to do things not done before. As a collective, teams must understand this.” “Change Is A Process, Not An Event”. Please join me in getting familiar with the process.
